Remember what they told you about how important networking is to your career? Remember hearing that networking is how most people find their jobs, or how you help your career or business grow?
Forget about it. Throw all that stuff out. Networking has become a dirty word – sort of. In reality, there’s a bit of nuance that comes into play that can firm this all up, because networking is a good thing.
To be sure, the idea of networking doesn’t exactly light many people up. There are a couple of reasons for it, from the reality that so many people do it poorly to how it can feel forced to how we often learn about it at a time that already puts a strike against us in trying to learn how it should be done properly.
But there’s something else going on here. The real goal of networking – building mutually beneficial relationships – is being lost, to the point where plenty of people who are actually good at it don’t like the idea or seem turned off by even mentioning the word. It was expressed in September at the start of a big LinkedInLocal Boston gathering, including by a woman who has written a successful book on the subject. Jordan Harbinger, an expert on the subject who has a course called 6 Minute Networking, seems careful about his usage of the word and even put it in quotes in an e-book he and a colleague put together some time ago entitled Build Your Network, Grow Your Income.
Perhaps now, as much as social media has presented opportunities one might not previously have had, there is a realization that at the same time, something is getting lost in the technology. This appears to have magnified the presence of those who do not network well or who don’t understand it in the first place. Whereas one might have encountered such people only in person and only in proportion to how actively they network, now they are more than a dime a proverbial dozen. Sadly, they are seemingly ever-present on LinkedIn, the quintessential example of technology meets networking. As such, it’s not hard to understand why even good networkers may be a little cynical.
The real goal of networking, as noted earlier, is building mutually beneficial relationships. This does not mean each person does equivalent acts for one another, nor should it; scorekeeping is a terrible way to go about your business in this regard. It means that you should go into any new connection you make thinking about how you can help them so as to build the relationship. It means this is not a one-shot deal; relationships have to be nurtured over time, and that’s as true of business relationships as it is of personal friendships or romantic relationships.
Unfortunately, encountering people who don’t view this the same way can be more common thanks to technology. Whereas once upon a time this would manifest itself primarily in a person who showed up at an event, gave out a business card and said little more than, “If you hear anything, let me know,” nowadays it can also show up in someone connecting with you on LinkedIn and immediately blitzing you with their product. On occasion, a person even makes that intention clear in their request to connect with you, which at least saves you some trouble. Some have even flat-out lied in requesting to connect there, saying they want to collaborate but then trying instead to sell you their product or service before establishing themselves as a person of value.
An oft-made analogy about networking is too true to ignore, especially given a common phrase about it. It’s been said that “Your network is your net worth,” and if you run with this, understand that networking is like banking. You have to make deposits – that is, provide value to others – before you can start making withdrawals – have value provided back to you. Like any rule, there are exceptions to this – you just might luck into striking up a conversation with the person who happens to be the best friend of a manager at the company you have long dreamed of working for and get your resume walked right up to them – but that is merely a great stroke of luck. The exceptions to a rule merely help prove the rule, and this is no different.
It goes along with having a mindset of service in how you go about your business. In the same way you think about serving others in your job or other small ways you help, you do this professionally as well.
Building relationships helps a person build their career. Whether you call it networking or something else, the idea still remains the same. The next idea is for more people to understand it well enough that the word “networking” doesn’t come to be disliked even by those who do it well.