Last week in this space, I reflected on the recent passing of college basketball coaching legend John Chaney. Well, they say bad things come in threes, and unfortunately, the latter part of last week delivered a gut punch on consecutive days to fulfill that old saying. As I was never fortunate enough to know Chaney personally, his passing didn’t hit me the same way news from the latter part of the week did.
On Thursday night, I logged in to Facebook to be stunned by the news that Pat Filien had died from the coronavirus. Filien was the athletic director and first men’s head basketball coach for Bryant and Stratton, but I knew him long before that, back when he was an assistant coach at two America East schools.
First, he was an assistant at Vermont, where he developed into one of the top recruiters in the northeast. He was on the bench through the end of Tom Brennan’s run, including three straight championships to close it out. With a new staff, he headed to conference rival Albany and was part of two more conference championships in a row before moving into women’s college coaching and then back to the Capital Region.
This news stung in a big way. It had been years since I had seen him, especially since he was in other parts of the country for a while, but social media is a great thing as we were in touch on occasion through it. All the while, I remember the great work he put in, but even more so the fact that even at his most successful time, he was the same person all along, even when I used to call him the hottest coach in America East after Albany made it five straight for him. He had a smile that was a mile wide and always had it – he never seemed to be in anything less than great spirits.
I used to see Pat out recruiting a lot, more so than I did at college games although I saw the Catamounts and Great Danes plenty as well. There was always plenty to talk about, between the players we were watching, his team, his team’s competition, and, of course, life matters. My life was a bit less interesting for much of the time I knew him, as I was very single well past the end of his days as a men’s Division I coach.
The constant in all of this was that the place always felt better when he was there, and I was not the only one who saw that. He was well-liked and respected among his peers because he was as honest as they come with anyone he dealt with and never seemed in a foul mood. He was honest with the media, his fellow college coaches, high school and AAU coaches and the kids.
Near the end of the magical run at Vermont, I covered one of the last home games so that I could also get another feature done. It was a rare time where I hit the road within New England without driving, partly because a snowstorm was hitting the region, so I was in town without a car. After their game, he drove me to a post-game spot where the staff was, including Brennan, who I spent a little time talking to about things we never really did at the gym. Pat was also my ride later that evening to my hotel, making my trip up there a little bit easier and overall better.
Less than 24 hours after hearing of Pat’s passing, I learned that Tom Konchalski was being transitioned into hospice care. By early Sunday morning, it appeared he was near the end as some thought he had passed away, but a New York high school coaching legend had seen him on Sunday.
I wrote about Tom months ago when he retired, which to me was one more sign among many that it was time for me to move on. Many tributes came in then, and many more in recent days, including this piece by the founder of a Nike EYBL program in Konchalski’s native New York area. It’s not hard to believe that so many are fond of the man; a writer who has been in touch with the family said he had a line of visitors where he is in hospice.
What has been said about Tom has been said; there is no need to feel repetitive. Fortunately, there is good reason to believe he has been told of the sentiments expressed about him since the news broke. So many of us wish we could speak to him one more time but can’t, and likely would not be able to even if we were not in a pandemic.
At a time like this, it’s easy to be in low spirits, and understandable. You feel for the families; while Tom never married, Pat was married and had two kids, one at Cornell and the other almost finished with high school.
But more than anything else, I am grateful that I knew both of them. I am grateful I saw Pat many times out recruiting and when covering his team’s games. I am grateful I saw his smile that was far bigger than his frame and ever-present. I am grateful that I knew Tom and experienced his legendary handshake many times, and knew how down-to-earth he is. It’s exceedingly rare in life that someone is universally well-liked, as Tom is; I can understand why that is, and I’m grateful for it.
Simply put, my life is better for having known both of them. And indeed, my life is better for having known many people I know, including many that I met through the world of basketball like these two fine men. In adopting an attitude of gratitude, being grateful for the people in our lives should be no small part of it, something these recent developments bring to mind once again.